Dr. Mike Israetel, a BJJ black belt, bodybuilder, and PhD in Sport Physiology, recently shared his darkest experiences with PEDs. His account offers a unique look at the often-hidden side of ster*id use that many influencers choose not to discuss.
“I felt sure in every emotional way but in zero logical ways that my death was inevitable,”
Israetel recounted about one particularly harrowing experience in his video.
“It was impending. I was going to die right like now, like in seconds or minutes.”
Israetel, known for his evidence-based approach to strength and conditioning through Renaissance Periodization, detailed three significant negative experiences with anabolic ster*ids that paint a more complete picture of PED use than what’s typically portrayed on social media.
First-time injection nightmares
Israetel’s first story involved his initial ster*id injection, which led to severe inflammation that persisted for weeks.
“My quad had swelled significantly. There was redness at the site,”
he explained. The pain was so intense that he
“couldn’t bend [his] leg but a few degrees without excruciating pain for a week and a half.”
This wasn’t an isolated incident. For nearly a decade, Israetel experienced similar inflammatory responses to injections. In one case, the reaction was so severe that he required medical intervention:
“I’ve been to the hospital before for some quad shots where they fayed open my quad and they drained and took a crapload of fluid out. Still have the scar from that one.”
Psychological impact of trenbolone
His second story detailed his experience with trenbolone, one of the most potent anabolic ster*ids available. Despite starting with what was considered a “conservative dose” of 75mg every other day, Israetel experienced overwhelming anxiety and a sense of impending doom just 24 hours after his first injection.
“I just knew that I was going to die, and it was such an intense feeling,”
he shared.
“The anxiety was overwhelming—like a giant tidal wave. Anxiety picked my ass up, threw me against the rocks, picked my ass up again, threw me against the rocks.”
After consulting with a neuroscientist friend, Israetel drastically reduced his dosage to just 18.75mg every other day and eventually found a more manageable response, though he admits trenbolone has
“just been no fun to do in almost every case.”
Relationship strain and emotional turbulence
Perhaps most troubling was Israetel‘s account of how high-dose ster*ids affected his relationships, particularly with his wife. While on substantial doses of androgenic compounds, he found himself having disturbing thoughts during minor disagreements.
“Some of the stuff that bubbled up to me was like ‘what do I have to put up with this? I could just leave. We could just get a divorce,'”
he recalled. The internal struggle was so significant that he would sometimes spend minutes in silence during conversations, trying to avoid saying things he would regret.
“All of the thoughts I had coming out of me, all the things I wanted to say, were really nasty and evil, and I didn’t really think them at the end of the day—I just felt them right then and there,”
he explained.
“Your brain gets wacky when you’re on a lot of dr*gs.”
Individual responses vary significantly
Israetel emphasized that while his experiences were severe, individual responses to PEDs can vary dramatically. Some users experience minimal side effects, while others might face life-altering complications.
“Responses are individual—some individuals get some side effects, some get others, some don’t,”
he explained.
“Responses are on a spectrum, which means you can have a very undetectable negative response, mildly negative, moderate negative, severely negative, insanely life-altering, all the way to cataclysmic.”
He also noted that many PED users don’t publicly discuss their negative experiences, creating a skewed perception of ster*id use in the fitness community. Some users might not even recognize the psychological changes occurring.
Looking toward the future
Israetel concluded his discussion with optimism about emerging alternatives to traditional anabolic ster*ids. He mentioned that pharmaceutical companies are developing myostatin and activin inhibitors that could potentially offer significant muscle growth benefits with substantially fewer side effects.
For those considering PEDs, Israetel‘s personal journey serves as a sobering reminder of the potential physical, psychological, and relationship consequences that can accompany ster*id use—aspects that are rarely discussed in fitness circles but represent very real challenges for many users.
