Jiu-jitsu athlete Andrew Wiltse opened up about recent developments in his professional life and offered a remarkably honest account of his experiences with bipolar disorder.
Wiltse revealed that his plans to open a gym with a financial backer have fallen through after months of preparation. “It seems like it’s not going to happen. Not for any particular reason or anything like that. It’s just one of those things that falls through,” Wiltse explained. Despite this setback, he maintained an optimistic outlook, saying he would “go back to the drawing board” and figure out his next steps.
The majority of Wiltse’s update focused on his mental health journey, particularly his experience recovering from a recent manic episode. He described taking time away from social media to work through what he called “post-manic episode depression” and to re-evaluate thoughts that had entered his mind during periods of psychosis.
Wiltse offered a vivid description of mania, comparing it to a balloon stretching in different directions. “At this high, it’s like my brain got stretched out in so many different directions and I believed so many different things that I normally wouldn’t believe,” he shared. He explained that recovery feels like “a stretched out balloon losing air” as one slowly returns to normal, often followed by a significant depressive period.
During these depressive phases, Wiltse admits to withdrawing from social interaction. “When I get really depressed, it’s a lot harder for me to reply to people. I get really anxious about the thought of replying to people or anxious about the thought of being seen or talking to people,” he said.
Perhaps most striking was Wiltse’s reflection on the cognitive dissonance he experienced during his manic episode. As someone who has historically valued rationality and logical thinking, he expressed bewilderment at how his mind embraced irrational beliefs during mania. “I thought I was the prophet of God. I thought I was in literal hell. I thought the universe was talking to me,” he recalled.
He shared a particularly revealing moment when, before fully entering psychosis, he momentarily recognized his irrational thinking and “talked himself back into sanity,” only to slide back into delusional thinking a day later. This experience left him questioning the nature of self and control when one’s brain chemistry is altered.
Throughout the update, Wiltse maintained that he is currently doing well and plans to resume creating content more regularly. He also mentioned continuing his unique approach to training, focusing on “long timer isometric exercises” that he believes benefit jiu-jitsu by building not just power but the ability to sustain effort without fatigue.
For followers of Wiltse, the update offers both reassurance about his current state and valuable insight into the reality of living with bipolar disorder.
