Legendary Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu master Rickson Gracie has opened up about his profound struggle with depression following the tragic loss of his 18-year-old son Rockson. In a candid interview on the Pura Vida podcast the martial arts icon revealed the devastating impact of losing a child and his journey through the darkest period of his life.
“With his passing I was left devastated,”
Gracie shared describing the unconditional love he had for his son.
“I really wanted to embrace the pain and jump into a lake with 200 kg on my chest.”
Rather than resisting the overwhelming grief Gracie made the conscious decision to fully experience his loss without distraction or trying to minimize the pain through techniques or coping mechanisms. The grieving father spent nearly two years in the depths of depression losing all motivation for activities that once brought him joy.
“I spent almost two years like this with no desire to train no desire to surf,”
he revealed.
“I had a serious drop in testosterone. I got depressed because I didn’t do anything and I didn’t act like I had to get back to normal.”
Gracie‘s approach to grief was deliberately uncompromising. He compared losing a loved one to losing a limb – something that cannot be recovered or replaced.
“When you lose an arm you are not able to recover that arm,”
he explained.
“So what you have to do in fact is reinvent yourself be reborn again without the arm.”
A turning point came when Gracie decided to build a memorial platform in a tree behind his house spending three weeks focused entirely on the construction project. This became a sacred space where he could meditate and feel connected to his son while overlooking the ocean. Through this process Gracie began to understand what his father had taught him about duality – that nothing is completely good or bad. He realized that his son’s passing while devastating had taught him the precious value of time.
“Until Rockson’s passing time didn’t mean much to me,”
he reflected.
“When Rockson left I discovered that tomorrow may never come.”
This realization transformed how Gracie lives his life. He no longer takes time for granted and prioritizes being present for his loved ones above all else.
“I don’t waste my time anymore,”
he stated.
“The time we live the present the moment I currently have a value like this I treat it like a diamond.”
Today Gracie describes himself as someone who
“lost a lot but gained a lot.”
While his heart remains broken he operates with heightened intensity and presence focusing on what truly matters while letting go of others’ expectations.
