In a recent appearance on the Jits and Giggles podcast, veteran Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competitor Maggie Grindatti shared an unpopular opinion that challenges common narratives in the grappling community: men face unique challenges when rolling with women that often go unrecognized.
Grindatti, who has been training since 2014 and boasts multiple world titles across colored belts, argues that the BJJ community needs to extend more grace to male practitioners navigating mixed-gender training.
“I do feel like it’s much harder for guys to roll with girls than it is for girls to roll with guys, and I feel like we don’t have enough grace for them,”
she explained during the podcast.
The black belt competitor outlined the psychological dynamics at play.
“If we beat a guy, it means something. If they beat us, it doesn’t,”
she noted, highlighting the unspoken pressure male training partners face. According to Grindatti, this creates an inherently difficult situation where men must constantly calibrate their strength, avoid causing injury, and manage their own ego—all simultaneously.
“They have to, one, not hurt us; two, they have to try to find where the strength equals,”
“For us, we can use full strength. We can do whatever we want,”
Grindatti said, emphasizing the mental gymnastics required and the difference in social expectations.
Grindatti‘s perspective stems from over a decade of experience in a sport that has dramatically evolved regarding female participation. When she started, consistent training with other women was rare and the community was significantly smaller. Now, as both a competitor and coach at her gym with her husband Lucas Lira, she’s witnessed firsthand how these dynamics play out on the mats.
Rather than condemning male training partners who struggle with appropriate intensity, Grindatti advocates for understanding.
“It’s really easy for us to get frustrated if a guy uses his strength or this and that, but the thing is, you have to understand every single guy isn’t going to have no ego in that aspect,”
she explained. She suggests that when faced with an overly intense roll, women should recognize whether it’s intentional malice or simply lack of experience controlling strength.
“If you feel like he’s going too hard, give him the grace, you know, and be submissive because that’s not your role. Then you don’t roll with him again,”
Grindatti advised, emphasizing personal responsibility in partner selection rather than public callouts.
