Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu legend Bernardo Faria is challenging one of the sport’s unspoken expectations arguing that practitioners should feel empowered to decline training partners without guilt or social pressure.
The multiple-time world champion has identified what he considers a critical mistake among BJJ hobbyists: the inability to say no when asked to roll. In a recent discussion Faria dismantled the notion that grapplers are obligated to accept every training invitation, particularly as they advance in age or face physical limitations.
“There’s nothing wrong with choosing who you roll with in Jiu-Jitsu,” Faria stated plainly, addressing a topic that many practitioners struggle with privately but rarely discuss openly.
Central to Faria‘s argument is the concept of sustainability on the mat. As practitioners age the cumulative effects of training with mismatched partners can take a serious toll. Whether it’s a significant weight difference, an age gap or incompatible training styles Faria believes that being selective about rolling partners directly correlates with longevity in the sport.
“As we get older, it’s very important to be careful with who you roll with,” he explained. “Being selective with who you roll with, it’s going to increase the longevity on the mat by a lot.”
The champion emphasized that practitioners shouldn’t feel compelled to train with someone who is considerably younger, heavier or whose approach to rolling makes them uncomfortable. The principle is straightforward: protecting your body should take precedence over social expectations.
Faria identified ego as a primary obstacle preventing practitioners from making healthy training choices. When called to roll many feel internal pressure to accept viewing refusal as a sign of weakness or disrespect. This mindset according to him is outdated and potentially harmful.
The issue becomes particularly pronounced in hierarchical situations. When a higher belt invites a lower belt to train the junior practitioner may feel obligated to accept regardless of their physical condition or comfort level.
“Many times we get stuck on our ego and someone calls us to roll and we feel like we have to,” Faria noted. “But I think it’s all about communication.”
Rather than avoiding the issue entirely Faria advocates for honest respectful dialogue. He suggests several polite approaches for declining a roll: mentioning a minor injury explaining that you’re training at reduced intensity or noting a physical mismatch like weight difference.
“We should be able to politely communicate that, hey, I’m kind of a little injured here, let me go with that other person over there,” he offered as an example.
Other acceptable responses include noting that you’re training lightly or preferring to work with someone closer to your size. The key according to him is delivering these messages with courtesy and clarity. There’s no need for elaborate excuses or apologies – simply stating your preference should be enough in a healthy training environment.
At his own academy Faria has institutionalized this philosophy. Students are told they can invite anyone to train and decline any invitation without explanation or penalty.
“In our school, we always tell everybody that you can call anyone you want and you don’t have to roll with anyone if you don’t want to roll with that person,” he said.
This approach represents a shift from traditional martial arts culture where hierarchy and obligation often overshadow individual comfort or safety. By normalizing choice Faria hopes to create an environment where practitioners can train sustainably throughout their lives.
Underlying Faria‘s message is a reminder often forgotten in the heat of training:
“We only have one body, so we should be able to protect this body as much as we can.”
For a sport that demands so much physically this perspective offers a path toward both enjoyment and longevity free from artificial pressures that have historically shaped mat culture.
