Comedian Bert Kreischer recently shared some humbling moments of fatherhood on the podcast ‘2 Bears, 1 Cave’ with co-host Tom Segura. During a recent episode, Kreischer revealed that his daughter Ila, who has been training in jiu-jitsu for several years, recently put the submission hold on him, and he tapped out.
The story came up naturally during a conversation about Tom Segura’s son Ellis expressing interest in starting jiu-jitsu. Kreischer immediately launched into a firsthand account of what happened with him.
“Ila’s in Jiu-Jitsu. She’s been doing it for a few years, yeah. She choked me out the other night,” Kreischer told Segura.
According to Kreischer, the moment started as a lighthearted challenge. He and Ila were together when she looked at him and said she could choke him out. Kreischer, seemingly skeptical of his daughter’s “little needle arms,” called her bluff.
“She goes, ‘Come here,'” Kreischer recalled, “and those little needle arms of hers went right under my chin.”
His wife LeeAnn and his other daughter Georgia were watching the whole thing unfold. When Kreischer began struggling and making a distressed noise, the two of them burst out laughing.
That reaction, it turns out, made things considerably worse for him.
“As soon as Ila heard them laughing, she just tightened it up,” Kreischer said. “And I’m like, I’m tapping.”
The situation took an even funnier turn when Ila informed her father, mid-choke, that she had not yet learned what tapping meant in a training context.
Kreischer recounted: “She’s like I haven’t learn the tap yet.”
Kreischer made clear that Ila genuinely loves the sport and has been at it for a few years now, crediting her skill to consistent training rather than any fluke.
The conversation eventually shifted back to Segura’s son Ellis, who had recently become excited about trying jiu-jitsu after learning it could help him develop a six-pack. That enthusiasm, Kreischer joked, could come with consequences down the line.
“Do you realize he’s going to be unmanageable at 10? He’s going to know how to f**king armbar you,” Kreischer said.
Segura agreed and admitted that the possibility had already crossed his mind, which is why he is considering signing up for classes alongside his son.
“I’m signing up at the same time just because of that. I don’t want him to ki ll me,” Segura told Kreischer.
