Olympic bronze medalist Tony Jeffries recently shared his thoughts on jiu-jitsu, parenting, and why he believes combat sports can have a lasting impact on children’s development. Speaking with Ben Drohan, Jeffries explained why he takes a firm approach when it comes to getting his daughters involved in martial arts.
When the conversation turned to whether parents should make their children train, Jeffries made it clear where he stands.
“No, I mean I’m the exact same, my kids as well. Force them to do jiu-jitsu,” he said. “My three daughters and that’s the thing about being a parent, like I tell my friends I’m like listen, get your kids into jiu-jitsu while they’re young. Get them into it.”
Jeffries said he often hears parents argue that their children simply do not want to train, but he does not see that as a valid reason to stop encouraging them.
“They’re like, my 8-year-old will not do jiu-jitsu. Or will they not? Like why will they not? Well, they just don’t want to do it.”
He then questioned the idea that young children should be making those decisions for themselves.
“Who wants to do it? Get them. Who knows best?” Jeffries said. “You are a 8-year-old kid. It’s you. Get your 8-year-old there. Tell them you’ve got to do this.”
While acknowledging that boxing comes with different concerns because of the strikes involved, he believes jiu-jitsu offers enormous benefits for kids.
“I mean, boxing’s a little bit different. You’re getting punched in the head. But something like jiu-jitsu is unbelievable for kids,” he said.
According to Jeffries, most children eventually discover they enjoy the sport once they give it a chance.
“And when they get there, it’s like, oh, it’s not that bad. And they start learning the techniques and they start to enjoy it. It becomes part of the life.”
He explained that training has become a non-negotiable part of life in his household.
“Like right now, jiu-jitsu was a non-negotiable for my kids and in my family and even for me and me wife. But if they had their own way, they’d want to stop in the house and play with the dolls, you know.”
Over time, however, he said his daughters developed friendships through training and came to appreciate it on their own.
“But as time goes on, yes, they enjoy it now. They’ve got friends there and it’s part of the life.”
Jeffries finished the point by returning to the idea that parents should be guiding these decisions rather than leaving them entirely up to young children.
“So that’s a big thing like with parents, you’ve got to think who knows best, you or an 8-year-old or a seven-year-old. No, come on, man.”
The discussion later shifted to why he believes jiu-jitsu provides lessons that extend far beyond self-defense.
“Jiu-jitsu is great because what jiu-jitsu does is puts you in the most uncomfortable situation you can be in,” Jeffries said.
He described the physical and mental challenges practitioners regularly face during training.
“You’ve got someone squashing your head trying to choke you, trying to snap your arm or arm bar and you’ve got to try and get out of this.”
“And sometimes you’ve got the shoulder on your mouth so you can’t breathe. Sometimes your legs are tangled, in so uncomfortable situations.”
Jeffries believes repeatedly facing those situations builds resilience.
“And what happens the more you do this, you get comfortable being uncomfortable.”
He argued that this ability to remain calm under pressure can carry over into everyday life.
“And what you just touched on there about being in these situations where you can have option three, which is walk away, it’s just training your brain to be able to help you with that.”
Jeffries also explained that his daughters train both jiu-jitsu and Muay Thai for reasons that go beyond learning techniques.
“With my girls, the reason why they’re all learning Muay Thai, the reason why they’re all learning jiu-jitsu is for this exact reason,” he said. “To stand up for yourself, to gain confidence, and don’t let anyone talk down to you.”
And if a situation ever escalates beyond words, Jeffries added his own blunt advice.
“And if it comes to it, punch their heads in before they can do anything to you.”
