In a candid discussion about training dynamics in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, ADCC veteran Brandon Reed offers valuable insights into the often-debated topic of men rolling with women in BJJ, drawing from his personal experience of having his girlfriend as his main training partner.
Rolling with women can be highly beneficial for men in BJJ, as women tend to be more technical and flexible, posing unique challenges
Reed emphasizes that training with women can be incredibly productive, particularly when preparing for high-level competitions. Using his own experience as an example, he points out that his girlfriend, despite being significantly lighter at 120-130 pounds compared to his 245-250 pounds, provides excellent training opportunities.
“Leading up to ADCC trials, I don’t want to have a partner that’s my size trying to beat me up,”
Reed explains in his video.
He notes that women in BJJ often develop superior technical skills due to their circumstances. Being frequently outnumbered in training rooms, they adapt by focusing on technique rather than strength. Reed shares a particularly illustrative example from his experience with Kate Murdoch from Pedigo:
“I tried to pass her guard for like 30 minutes and just couldn’t because she’s so good at keeping her knees and elbows together.”
This level of technical proficiency, combined with natural flexibility, creates unique challenges that can significantly improve a practitioner’s game.
BJJ is a sport, and the focus should be on technical development, not gender dynamics
Reed addresses head-on what he calls “the elephant in the room” – the unfortunate tendency of some practitioners to sexualize training interactions between men and women. He strongly criticizes this mindset, emphasizing that BJJ is first and foremost a sport, comparable to any other athletic pursuit.
“When men and women sexualize Jiu-Jitsu, they make it weird,”
Reed states firmly. He points out that while BJJ involves close contact, particularly in no-gi training, any sexual connotation is entirely imposed by the practitioner’s mindset rather than being inherent to the sport. He draws a parallel to other sports, noting that nobody sexualizes running alongside opposite-gender athletes in track and field.
Thinking of women as smaller training partners, and use the opportunity to work on guard
Reed offers practical advice for men approaching rolls with women, particularly those new to such training dynamics. He endorses a perspective shared by another practitioner, Fion, suggesting that men should consider pulling guard when rolling with women, especially in initial interactions.
This approach serves multiple purposes: it creates a less intimidating environment for smaller training partners, provides an opportunity to work on guard techniques with lower injury risk, and allows both practitioners to develop their skills productively. Reed emphasizes that this doesn’t mean always pulling guard, but rather using it as a starting point to build comfort and rapport.
Men should approach rolling with women in the same way they would with any other training partner, without making it “weird”
Perhaps most importantly, Reed highlights the responsibility of male practitioners to be part of the solution rather than the problem. He points out that women in BJJ often struggle to find training partners, particularly in mixed-gender environments. Even in a major city like Montreal, women from multiple gyms must coordinate to gather just 15 practitioners for a training session.
Reed advocates for treating these training opportunities with respect and professionalism, suggesting various ways to make the most of them, such as engaging in situational rounds and specific training scenarios. He particularly recommends 50/50 rounds and leg-locking practice, noting how the different physical attributes of female training partners can help refine these techniques.
The veteran grappler concludes with a call for the BJJ community to move past outdated attitudes and embrace the technical and developmental benefits of training with all practitioners, regardless of gender. His message is clear: success in BJJ comes from focusing on technique, respect, and mutual development, not from arbitrary limitations based on gender.
