Gordon Ryan found himself embroiled in controversy after posting a video supporting Dana White’s stance against men expressing their emotions. In the viral clip, White, the UFC president, proclaimed that he doesn’t “want to talk about [his] feelings” and that men should suppress their emotions, asserting, “That’s what we f***ing do.”
Ryan doubled down on White’s comments in a lengthy rant, berating those who seek therapy or share their struggles publicly as “f***ing p**sies.” He claimed that paying a therapist to listen to one’s problems is “the dumbest idea of all time” and that real men should maintain a stoic demeanor, regardless of their internal turmoil.
Ryan also went on to claim that White’s instance of slapping his wife was in self defense despite the fact that White himself said he was ashamed of his behavior.
“I made some decisions in my life and things I needed to fix with myself to make sure that never happens again. That will never happen again, no matter what. Me and my wife have known each other since eighth grade, we’ve been friends since eighth grade and we’ve been married for almost 30 years. It’s weird and I think about it all the time, that that situation would play out on New Year’s Eve, basically on stage, in front of however many people all with phones aimed right at me, and boom, here we are. It was crystal clear how and why it happened. I had to take a look at myself and say we need to fix this and this can never happen again.” – White told media.
“You just f***ing get up. You do what you got to do. You shut the f up. It’s not that hard,” Ryan stated, dismissing the idea of opening up about mental health issues. He argued that since most people live relatively comfortable lives compared to the global population, they have no valid reason to feel depressed or seek professional help.
However, Ryan acknowledged struggling with his own chronic illness that has left him bedridden for extended periods, admitting he has felt like harming himself at times. Nonetheless, he maintained that confiding in strangers, whether online or through therapy, is unacceptable. “You should have a small circle of people in your life that know what’s going on… and that’s it,” he asserted.
This is interesting considering Ryan posts daily about an assortment of issues, from girls that dismissed his advances in his teenage period to the random businesses who have failed to satisfy his expectations.
A number of commenters including mentor Tom Deblass disagreed with Ryan on this issue.
But Hollywood’s Mario Lopez agreed, so there’s that.
Further, Ryan piggybacked off of an clip on the Joe Rogan experience in which Journalist Abigail Shrier argues that therapy makes men weaker.
In her view, constantly discussing problems, anxieties and sources of trauma with therapists is harmful and preventing resilience. However, Shrier’s arguments miss some critical nuances and her blanket criticism of therapy is misguided.
It’s true that ruminating excessively on problems without taking action can be counterproductive. Cognitive-behavioral therapy actually aims to change unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors linked to mental health issues. The goal isn’t endless discussing of feelings, but developing skills to challenges distortions and make practical changes. In fact, CBT aims to provide concrete tools to help patients and typically lasts between 8 to 20 sessions.
Anxiety isn’t inherently bad either – Shrier rightly notes some anxiety can motivate preparedness and performance. The issue is when anxiety becomes disordered and impairs functioning.
Shrier paints with too broad a brush in condemning any expressions of vulnerability or emotional struggles as weakening an entire generation. The human experience inevitably involves painful events, losses, and difficulties that can understandably prompt sadness, anxiety or trauma reactions in anyone. Acknowledging this and getting support isn’t weakness, it’s being human. Resilience doesn’t mean having no emotional reaction.
Quality therapy tailored to the individual helps people develop coping strategies to work through challenges and make positive changes in their lives when needed. It teaches distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and thinking skills to maintain functioning and well-being despite life’s hardships. Rejecting this and insisting people just “shake it off” is what’s truly toxic and unhelpful.
Nuance is key. Not all therapeutic practices are equally effective and some caution is warranted around overdiagnosing or pathologizing normal human experiences. But writing off therapy and openness to complex emotions as universally bad, especially for young men, is a reductive and frankly damaging perspective.
Despite the criticism, Ryan remained defiant, accusing his detractors of being “miserable f***s” and suggesting they spend more time in nature rather than attacking public figures online.
Not all UFC stars agree either – Paddy Pimblett drew spotlight on the importance of men being able to ask for help after he lost a close friend who harmed himself.
During a UFC speech after his win over Jordan Leavitt, Pimblett helped raised awareness and even caused a spike in the number of men seeking mental health help.
